I'm Sorry Ana.

I did so well today until I got home and ate celery, carrots, turkey, apple sauce.

Those were the first things I ate today.

I heard people singing Happy Birthday in the hallway of my dorm and I went to check it out. I had a large piece of cake.

Then, I went home and ate half of a fucking bag of cheerios. I guess, on the bright side, I can't eat those tomorrow. That is how I justify eating food at my dorm. 'I can't eat that tomorrow.'

I am going to fast for two days. Only liquids.

I will see my aunt and my two cousins and grandma and mom and brother on Friday. It's Wednesday. That means I have one and a half days to be good to Ana. One and a half days to not eat. It sounds scrumptious.

I've been working out every day for the last few weeks. I haven't lost any weight, but I am looking more toned. I bought these little star stickers and I put one up every time I workout on a calender that my brother bought for me. I didn't go today because I didn't eat all day. By the end of it, I was exhausted, dizzy, incandescently happy.

When I don't eat, I feel better. It's kinda strange actually. I also wrote a lot today.

A poem about 'my secret.'

I am going to hang up thinspo all over my room tonight instead of doing my homework.

I LOVE YOU!

love, Kana!

ABC

I'm starting the ABC Diet today! 500 calories today and tomorrow. Monday is 300. :)

120, here I come! :)

Current weight: 138.7
Goal: 120

Goal date: March 10th!

The Real Deal.

I want them to notice.

I want someone to worry about me when they see how much weight I've lost.

I just want someone to tell me that everything I do is OK and that it's not gross for me to eat.

Wait. I don't even want to eat.

I am starting a 72 hour detox pill and a 17 day diet tomorrow. I will go every other day eating. Tomorrow, I don't eat. Wednesday, I do eat.

When I don't eat, my hair looks better. It's strange. It gets more fluffy. I love it!

I need sleep. I am working out twice tomorrow again. I love exercise. Running off calories is a dream come true. Also, I ate a lot of pinapple today. I wonder what my vagina would taste like. Isn't that the trick to having a tastier one...?

Any-who, good night lovlies! I wish I was as strong as you are! Keep up the hard work. It is worth it to see the numbers going down!!

Nighty-Night!

I'm Getting Serious Now.

Tomorrow is Monday.

It's (kinda) the start of a new week.

That means that I cut back again. I cut back more than I ever have. I weighed 141 today. It's wrong on so many levels.

I work at a bagel shop. I might have to quit and find a new job. The food is too tempting.

Ladies and Gents, welcome to the shitshow.

I will lose 10 pounds in the rest of the month. It has to happen.

Tomorrow, I am not going to eat more than 200 calories. I am not. I AM NOT!

I am going to work out twice for 2 hours each. Run 3.5 miles. Sit-ups, butt, quads.

Beauty doesn't just happen over night. It takes work, as I am learning.

I am supposed to go into The Emily Program on Thursday. I have been telling my parents that I don't want to. I DON'T.

Starve on. It's time for an early bed time. Sleeping helps to lose weight..

Love you!!

Fatty Express

I am huge. I have been eating. I need someone to kick my ass into shape...What is the matter with me?

It's Time to Make a Change!

I'm about to head out to Zumba at the YMCA! I am so excited to be back again.

For a while, I was eating and not exercising. I will not go back there. I can't even remember what life was like a year ago when I was eating completely normally. I was HUGE back then. 150 lbs.

YUCK!
This morning, I weighed in at 137.4.

Yesterday, I went to Target and purchased tea, rubberbands, a measuring tape, and celery.  I also bought an X-Small t-shirt. It fits me now, but I want it to hang off my body. I think that I will go back to the one-meal-every-other-day thing. I have to eat on Friday because I am getting lunch with my best friend and her new boyfriend. Hopefully, by then, I will have lost atleast 5 pounds. Four days and 5 lbs? Sounds like a great plan!

If I lose that much weight, I will eat. If not, I will tell them that I just ate breakfast. She thinks that I am getting back to normal, but I'm secretly not. Also, Adam T. I mentioned him in my first post. The first Adam. I saw him last weekend. I ate too much food. I could eat a whole sandwich and a plate of fries.

I almost choked this morning and ate breakfast. Whoops! I didn't though. I weighed myself and saw that I was down three pounds from last night! That's exactly what I like to see!

Yesterday, I also ordered more Apidexin. It should arrive this week sometime. My bottle is almost gone...


I love Apidexin.

Off to work out...

Love, Me. :)

DON'T EAT!

It's a New Year.

Today, I am throwing away all foods that are over 110 calories per serving.

I weigh 140.4 lbs.

I feel huge.

I told my mom that I wanted help. I don't. I think I might call her and tell her that I don't need it.

At Passion 2012, they told us about slavery and being bound by sin. I know I'm bound by it, but......

THIN TASTES SO GOOD!!

My mom gave me a Target gift card. I think that instead of buying food with it, I will buy clothes that are too small for me. I will more than likely buy some celery with it, but other than that, only clothes.

Small and X-Small shirts. Size two pants.

I will get down there. I WILL!

My goal is to weigh 130 before February starts. That gives me 22 days to lose 10 pounds. EASY!

I bought a YMCA membership four days ago. I've only gone once since then. That needs to change.

Fatty areas:
Stomach - it's protruding out so far that I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous.
Thighs - hello to the winner of the THUNDER THIGH competition. They shouldn't be touching by now.
Arms - mom arms are back. not to stay.
Wrists - my wrists have grown by what seems to be inches. yuck!
Collar Bone Area - My collar bones are starting to be hidden again. I can't have that!
Fingers - My fingers are too huge for words. My purity ring better be slipping off by the time I reach my goal.

MORE LATER!

Starve on skinnies!