Day Two in Hell...

Christmas for an Anorexic is hell. The cookies. The meats. The potatoes. It's horrible. The temptation is wrong.

Last night, I worked out for an hour and a half. I did all of the machines and abs and squats, but this time, I ran 3.5 miles. I am going to work it up to ten. I burned almost 400 calories just from running.  That is great news!

I've been telling myself that it's ok to eat. WRONG. That is so wrong.  Tomorrow, I start restricting my caloric intake. 200 a day. Last night, I watched the documentary called THIN. You should check it out! There is a lot of Thinspiration to be had there. It was magical. I just want that thin look. The skinny. I don't care what it takes. I will get down to 115 pounds. I will work out, restrict, take laxatives. I've actually been researching those today. They seem pretty safe as long as they are taken safely. I wish I had the balls to say no to eating. I am going to have to work on that.

Eating is NOT OK.

I need to remember that. When you eat, you get fat. When you get fat, you are gross.

I hit 140 today. I feel like a freaking ogre.

I need to come up with a plan for my eating so that I don't fricking fail every day.

Like I said, 200 calories a day. EASY AS PIE. yuck. I just need to remember that food is not worth the taste. Water is totally the way to go. I'm hoping that I will be able to work out everyday like I am now.

When I go home for school, I think I will get a membership to the YMCA in the skyway. That way, I will want to go because I paid for it. OH! And because fatness will not be tolerated. By February, I will weigh 115 pounds. That is my goal. :)

Starve on my ladies of Ana.
Love, moi.